Russia: Land of the Tsars

Russia: Land of the Tsars is a History Channel film, so I suppose it's unfair to expect much from the soundtrack.  That being said there are occasionally pieces of music that make you deeply wish you could request the wasted moments of your life back that were spent listening to them.  As Dr. Smith from Lost in Space would say, "Oooh the pain!"  Not to bury the lead, but this is one such piece of music.

The music is composed by Gary Pozner, an unknown to many film score buffs.  If he keeps up his present level of excellence, it will undoubtedly remain that way.  Pozner has recently formed a company called "Whirled Music," which produces music for films, television, commercials, and the like.  According to his biography at Whirled's webpage, in his former life, Pozner played piano in the Catskills, and was part of an African-Celtic-Gospel-Rock band called "EO."  One hopes that he goes back to his band, because when it comes to film scoring, he's not quite ready for prime time.  

Land of the Tsars is like the soundtrack for a jungle video game.  You can envision the little pixelized character sitting, looking around, while the music continues to drone on with the same melody, oh so ponderously.  Alternatively, this would provide lovely background for a rousing game of Dungeons and Dragons.  Nowhere is this more typified on the soundtrack than early on, with "The Vikings Set Sail."  I would name other tracks on the score, but it doesn't matter.  Really, believe me, it does not matter.  Each successive track is more unwieldy and less enjoyable than the one before.  Ok, I'll name one more: "Russians and Ottomans" is a perfect display of just how this soundtrack is so incredibly by the numbers.  Cymbal crash there, medieval flute there, little bit of violin over to your left please, and slower, slower, then crescendo – and yes! build! build! build! MORE MEDIEVAL FLUTE AND FRENCH HORN! The only track I found even remotely redeeming was "Glory of Ivan the Terrible," for the sole reason that it was pretty – and I'm straining to say something nice here.

In case you are still considering purchasing this album, consider this: for some inexplicable reason, dozens of tracks on the score are approximately 10 to 20 seconds long.  Arguably this is beneficial in the sense that the pain diminishes more rapidly, but it's also damnably distracting.